I’m 55, he’s 50

Poor life choices have made us really vulnerable financially in a lot of areas.
I wouldn’t stress about the 10% if we had additional income. But right now, his is all we have. To put us in the negative to save $440 a month (ok, $880 with their matching) is asking a lot, particularly with some kid issues we have coming up starting in January.

Ten percent is a big match

I can see why he’d want it. How far from retirement are you? How many years? Hopefully he would meet in the middle, maybe you could handle the five percent. Any possibility of him car pooling to save on gas?. I hated car pooling but some people can handle it. Would he consider holding off till you got one bill gone and the baby emergency fund in place? I’m watching my 401K grow in retirement and that’s a really good feeling when you are past the age of going out to get a job.