Rather than beating him senseless (I’m only partially kidding about that last part)

We’re into week four now of our own ‘where the HECK is the money going?’ issue, and we’re still wrestling with some parts of that. Despite having answered a LOT of recent questions about where our money has been going, my DH and I are still butting heads in some ways about how to manage it from now on, similar to your situation. Best I’ve been able to come up with so far for conversations like this is to try to find a 3rd alternative, a compromise somewhere between my very-logical-and-practical-and-DR-approved-approach (and if it sounds like I think my idea is better, of course I think it’s better), and his I-work-hard-for-my-money-and-I-get-to-spend-it-the-way-I-want (and if it sounds like he thinks his idea is better, of course he thinks it’s better). That’s the problem – each spouse tends to think we’re the only ones who really know what the priorities should be. Which puts us back into our own corners and if we come out of the corners at all, we come out fighting.
I’ll have an updated post on our own situation within the next day or so, because a lot has changed with it (mostly for the good). In the meantime, Kathy, hang in there and keep trying to work with him on something you can both live with. I think I saw someone define “compromise” as “when all parties are equally unhappy”. That sounds dorky but sometimes that’s really the big flag that you’ve arrived at a workable plan. Everyone got something, but no one got everything.