It’s amazing after all this, how DH and I could still NOT be on the same page

So we started talking in broad terms about the budget once he starts working.

My position: he will take home enough to cover basics, plus the outrageous amount we are going to be spending in gas. I then want to use the leftover to build up a BEF, build up a stockpile to pay off a debt, then repeat until everything is paid off, then revisit.

His position: the company matches 100% up to 10% in a 401(k), so let’s do the 401(k) as soon as he qualifies (which I think is 90 days). His motivation is NOT we depended on that $ when we lost the recent job (I could understand that reasoning), his reasoning is, IT’S FREE MONEY…and he doesn’t want to walk away from free money.

Mind you: his plan means NO money for gas, or money for gas and we are never current on ANYTHING. If taxes work out the way I think they will, after covering expenses we will have $230 A MONTH for food, unplanned events, paying off debt.

Yes, we still have an income problem not a debt problem, so I’m going to really have to up my plan to bring in more income. But even when I do, in my opinion, working so he can do a 401k is really pointless. All my income will be doing is covering basics then, rather than getting us out of debt.

So here’s my real question. I was SO MAD that he would not be on the same get out of debt page, that I couldn’t even talk about it. How do I have a conversation? (other than emailing him a version of this email, including numbers, which I’m probably going to do…at least it will be out there)